Master Bates

What can I say….. Master Bates is the fucking man! He works fucking hard to keep this spotty tasty all on his own. He also is pretty good at harrassing me to get photos on the tinterweb! Well done sir! the fruits of your labour……

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Working the beast!

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This is the landing for the “dew tour” hip. It’s the 4th jump in the main line up Shit Creek after a step down racer and two straight jumps called “X Games”. It’s taken a long time to get this thing stacked but now it’s up there it just needs a face. Sunday plans sorted! Now have a look at the sweet log set up holding it together

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The Creek

Is what it’s called on it’s official little sign in the woods. Being a public spot with highly impressionable Big wheelers all over the place I don’t think you can use such words as “shit”. But we named our trails Shit Creek (due to the small drive past a shit recycling centre near the woods). This on going side project of building a whole set of trails whilst building and maintaining PSA is almost coming to some kind of mile stone after almost 5 years of hard work.
Laying out a couple of lines (or 4) and getting them stacked to height has been an on going marathon. But the end is near! So as well as TidworthFreeride (google for such big wheel information) having there 2nd Jam we will be having Shit Creek’s first ever Jam! So over the weekend of the 2nd and 3rd of august you all need to be in the fucking woods of tidworth!
We will have two lines running (one big and one not so big) and I would really like to say all the way to the bottom but looking at the month we have left to finish I think we are gonna be a bit short of the end. But who cares! I fucking don’t! I just can’t wait to start ripping through the woods it’s taking 5 years to build!
So what I’m saying is if you don’t come celebrate this with me, we are no longer buddies! Also the marmelade is on the 16-17th of august! I haven’t made any facebook events yet, so technically I guess it’s not even real yet…
now watch this video of bry riding some strange brown stuff and having a little rip on the bigger line up tidworth

Brows…

I’ve got HUGE ones! Fucking great big fucking eyebrows! Now as you know I’m not one for cutting off my manly hair bits, even when the brows choose to flick up at the end (like that old guy who runs the prison in mean machine).
But apart from making me look like a twat there is another issue, a real issue! Some how these small (or not so small) bits of hair can collect very large amounts of sweat. What seems like incredible amounts of sweat! Which then has to be wiped away before the brow limit is reached and we get a salty waterfall into the eye department.
Now word on the street is there is a simple solution to this. With the use of a set of clippers you can shorten these hairs to stop such salty build ups. But trimming such hairs is touching on the metrosexual (go watch southpark). As well as the possible homo issues, I wonder what the re-growth repercussions may be. Already having such dense and monsterous brows I wonder what would happen if regular trimming was commited to, they could get worst!!! EVEN BIGGER!!!!
So you see my dilemma. Have a couple of salty water containers on my face or commit to regular brow trimming and possibly homo-sexual side effects?!

Do you understand why I’m so salty and confused now…

Sometime…

You’ve just got to relax and enjoy the little things. Waste a quid on a bag of sugar and forget about all the pricks. I fucking love these things

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Also…

I’m facing a fire arms charge hahahahahaha! For apparently shooting a kid with a BB gun (we didnt have any BB guns in the woods) But they took my air rifle and I think now the fucking pigs are gonna try and stick me for some charge for having an air rifle in “public” (I don’t see how being in the woods is in “public” (But yes I know the law is the fucking law))
Its fucking Hilarious that they couldn’t do me for the supposed BB offence so now they are just gonna try stick me for something else. It makes me so mad because there are so many cunts out there making peoples lives complete HELL! And now it looks like they are gonna waste loads of time trying to stick me for shooting an air rifle in the woods
To completely top it all off the cunt that took my rifle and my fucking weed is in charge of the case now. He’s one of those short pricks (shorter then me pricks) who has that little man problem. It doesn’t help he is balding early so he probably has no social skills and can’t get a misses (probably causing a lot of sexual frustration).
BUT to top that! All I want to do is cave the guys face in! I have to go for an interview with him soon! How am I gonna keep my temper in check and not smash his ugly little face through the table!!!!! I couldn’t even speak to him on the phone without loosing it!
So soon I might be facing a fire arms charge, GBH and assualting an officer. It’s amazing how the police can turning a normal hard working person into a criminal…

Productive procrastination

I’ve been stuck in a rut for a long time now. When I’m out the house and up the woods I get shit done (well it’s getting harder and harder to finish all the digging up the woods when you can just sit around and enjoy the summer heat) but when I’m at home I can’t get shit done. I’m about as useful as a sack of potato! It fucks me off!
I have things I want to do, a blog I want to update, videos to make, ideas to turn into real life! So after making a pretty life changing and heart breaking decision the other day it made me think, what the fuck am I doing?!… If I can make a decision like that why can’t I turn a small amount of procrastination into some productivity?
But procrastination is becoming a normal part of peoples life’s and Facebook (or which ever fucking social media you wish to waste your life in front of) is a massive part of this. Now it’s normal to waste large parts of the day looking at and adding to the stream of shit on Facebook. Recently I’ve stopped using Facebook. Not to prove a point or try and be the anti-cool hipster prick that thinks he is one step ahead of the crowd. Everytime I went to write something on facebook a little voice goes in my head “Who gives a fuck?! no one is gonna read it anyway. It will disappear into the rest of the shit everyone else is posting!” (also it seems facebook doesn’t actually show you everything and actually has it’s own idea on what you would like to see). But I love a good rant on Facebook and from the feedback I’ve heard people enjoy reading my rants! probably due to the heavy salt content.
So here is the Dilemma, I want people to read all my bullshit but I don’t want it lost in the ever flowing stream of facebook bullshit. So it’s time to take it back to the old school! I’ll just do this blog! No one will probably read it but if one person does and has a fucking laugh, then my job is done.
Lets see if I can actually keep this blog going then haha! Now to go with all them horrible bloody words here is a nice photo of Jake getting to the moon on the Bill Murray hip up PSA! Jake is the exception. The park rat thats got some flow, who has started coming up the woods a bit more AND is actually not to bothered about picking up the shovel! Lets hope he keeps coming up…

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I hate little cunts that are way better at riding bikes then I’ll ever be…